“You don’t actually have to make up an evil shadow government to be mad at. You can just be mad at the actual government.”
i get that this is jokes but the central core delusion of rightwing conspiracy theories is that they’re the victims. like, that’s it. that’s the whole thing.
they unblinkingly accept the world that this society has granted them: a world in which christian, cis, het, abled(ish) white folks are the only people who are people.
but things still suck for them. this world still fucking sucks, in large part because their own desperation to maintain their position as The Only Real People has led them into generations of incredibly stupid, cruel, selfish, short-sighted policy decisions.
welfare is whittled to nothing, wages stagnate, climate disasters keep happening, and the un-people are angrier and weirder and louder than ever even as city budgets drain away into the armored fists of militarized police.
this world fucking sucks, it sucks for everyone. the only real people in the world got together and made a world that fucking sucks.
but wait, what? how can that be possible? how can that be true?
well, it can’t be. it shouldn’t be. it isn’t.
surely there’s this other government, this evil government, this secret government, to explain it. maybe it only looks like they got what they asked for. it’s got to be something, anything, but consequences.
Please don’t ask me for relationship advice unless you are prepared to receive some truly upsetting information because some people are ready for the “He’s exhibiting the literal textbook signs of a psychological abuser and you need to get away from him before he successfully cuts you off from your support network” talk and some people aren’t
FOR WHOEVER NEEDS A REMINDER:
There is never any justification for someone putting their hands on you in any way without your consent short of immediate risk of harm or death.
If someone tells you that “the way I’m acting is your fault because you know that doing X thing would make me do it and you chose to do it anyway” is just fancy bullshit talk for, “I know my behaviour is wrong, but I don’t want to be held responsible for it so I’m pushing it on you”
Nothing good ever, ever comes from someone who tells you, “I don’t want you talking about our relationship with anyone”. This person cannot handle accepting responsibility and processing criticism so they need you to never, ever question them. That’s easier if they control the narrative and your friends aren’t there to cut in.
Nothing constructive comes from screaming.
“It’s not like that all the time” is optimistic and sweet, but the truth is, it shouldn’t be like that at all. Sweet words and gifts and gestures don’t erase being frightened for yourself or for your loved ones. That is not normal. Don’t minimize it.
It is not healthy or normal to be genuinely afraid of saying “no” to someone, for any reason at all. Violence, outbursts, retaliation, anything. You should not have to be afraid of someone’s reaction to your boundaries.
You are not responsible for saving anyone. Even if you love them. Even if they have nobody else. At the end of the day, if they want to hurt themselves in any way, they will, and you can’t stop them forever. People need to want to improve before they can actually improve, and if they’re threatening to harm themselves to keep you around, they’re using your love to hold themselves hostage. You do not decide their choices for them, and they don’t get to shunt that off on you.
There will always be other people who can love you better. You will not be alone forever. This will not be the last time you care for someone like this and it will not be the last time someone cares for you
